


Why Don't I Call You Ciel? Ciel Phantomhive...

by PandoraButler



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Working!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: It's modern-day, centuries after Sebastian has taken Ciel's soul...and he meets someone...someone almost exactly the same. It can't be Ciel! Can it?





	1. Chapter 1

If you were to ask me, how many years had passed since that time...I wouldn't be able to tell you. It was too long ago, so many things have changed since then. Since him, rather. One thing remains, however, and that is I am still a demon in the human realm but even then, I am not the same as I once was either.

After I took Ciel's soul, I could never take another one again. It was too much for me, it just reminded me of what I had lost. What was the point? What was the purpose?

This doesn't mean that I didn't kill, of course I did, but I didn't take their souls. I became an assassin working for some place that I can't bother to remember. It was unusual for me, to kill without profit. Human money can't satisfy me, nothing can anymore, but I needed something to pass the time...and killing was just the most fun.

But even then, I don't do that anymore. Now, I just go about my own business, trying to survive every minute of every-day. My life is so long, there is no point to living all this time if you are alone. I know that now, but at least I still have cats.

Lots and lots of cats.

So many cats.

But they also die without me.

How good for them, they don't have to live as long as I do. It must be nice.

Today was just the same, like any other day, I was walking home (if you could call where I live 'home') after picking up some food. The food wasn't for me, don't be ridiculous, it was for my little cat family. I spoil them too much but they deserve it so it's fine.

On my way back, I noticed a body. It might sound a bit odd but for demons to notice things like this, it is just perfectly natural. It was a boy, a small human. One of his legs was sticking out of a dumpster. If I was anyone other than myself, I might think he was a tossed out mannequin, but he wasn't. I am a demon, I know the difference just by scent...and he smelled very nostalgic.

I placed the bag of cat food on the ground for a moment, to examine this strange body. Pulling it out of the dumpster, I almost wanted to shove it back in. This has to be some sort of sick joke. It can't be really the same person, that is stupid to assume...but there wasn't a piece of my body that could abandon this child here.

He looked far too much like Ciel.

My Ciel.

Oh how I miss that boy. That stupid self-absorbed brat that made me do so many idiotic things. There is never a day that goes by where I don't wonder what our relationship could have been like, if he had just told me what he really felt. If I had just told him...but that is in the past now. Now, there is just this child here...should I really take him back with me? Should I really tend to his wounds and feed him? All I have is tuna...I guess I should stop by the store again. It has been so long since I've cooked for anyone.

I couldn't hurt, right?

Picking up the boy, carefully of course, I brought him back to my place then quickly went to the store again. What exactly would I need for him? Food, yes, but he needs clothes too...should I just guess about what size he is? Oh, whatever, he can complain and leave for all I care. I'm not his father, I'm just a person who is looking after you. Tch, this is more difficult than I thought it would be.

Going back to my place (great thing about demons speed is that I was only gone for maybe 2 minutes) I gently cleansed and tended to this boy's wounds. He was sound asleep, or at least I hoped he was. It would be very hard to explain why a complete stranger is staring at your naked body. Awkward indeed. Probably moreso for me, he looks exactly the same as Ciel in every way...except the mark on the back. I also don't know what his eyes look like yet either...so he isn't an identical copy but...

Anyway. Now that that is taken care of I can cook for this child. Sorry, kittens, you will have to wait just a bit longer before I can actually feed you. Don't worry, I will feed you on time, just like promised. Or at least, I hope so anyway.

The place I live in is very small, and almost nearly run down. It hardly matters to me where I live. There are 4 rooms total. One main one, one kitchen, one bathroom, and one spare room...it would have been my bedroom if I was a normal human but instead I just call it the kitty suite. All of the kitties hang out in there and leave to visit me as they please. I have very intelligent cats, they know how to open doors and everything. They make me so proud. Gah, so cute!

I could hear stirring in the main room, he must be awake, or having a nightmare. Should I go check on him? He probably shouldn't be moving about too much...he is very frail. Forgetting to put down the knife I was holding, I walk into the room.

"So you're awake?" I say. He stares at me, terrified it seems. I didn't even do anything...gosh, what is your problem?

He nods, not responding, and stares at the knife in my hand. Oh, well, okay that makes sense. I probably look like a psycho holding this knife. "I'm not going to hurt you," I laugh, this whole situation is simply amusing, "I was just cooking. Are you not hungry?"

He shakes his head furiously 'no' but his stomach growls and says otherwise. What is wrong with this child? I know I'm a demon, but you shouldn't know that so why are you so scared? What happened to you?

I stare into his eyes, Ciel's eyes were his best quality. It is the same with this boy, he has no demonic contract mark so it makes me painfully aware this is not the same person...but his eyes are both blue...both wonderful.

He seems intimidated by that and looks around the room to try and break eye contact. There isn't really anything in here except a giant wardrobe. You know, for going to Narnia and such. That was a joke, if anything I would be going to Hell.

"Well, if you aren't hungry that is a shame. I made all of this food but it seems like it'll go to waste now," I sigh and walk back into the kitchen. He apparently thinks I am going to throw it out because he hurriedly gets up and runs to me, hugging me from behind.

"Wait," he mumbles. If I didn't have demon ears I am not sure I would be able to hear that. "I'll eat it," he says.

"Good," I smile. Hopefully my smile isn't scary...maybe I should buy a mirror and check my expressions. Do I still look the way I think I do?

He doesn't let go of me so I kind of have to awkwardly walk into my kitchen with this kid attached to my hip. Do I even have plates? Or utensils? I mean I have knives but...that is about it.

I manage to find something for him to eat with and then I arrange food on a plate.

"Here you go," I say, his face is still in my side. Has he been like that the whole time?

"It isn't poisoned, right? I can trust you, right?" He looks up at me with these sad eyes. It really breaks my nonexistent heart. What happened to you child? I want to protect you and I don't even know who you are!

I've gone soft.

"Yes, you can trust me."

He cautiously removes himself from me and grabs the plate, scarfing it down like he hasn't had a meal in ages. He probably hasn't from the looks of him. Poor child.

"Don't eat too quickly, you'll upset your stomach," I say. He nods but doesn't slow down.

"What is your name?" I ask. "My name is Sebastian Michaelis," it has been so long since I have used this name. I only started up again recently when I went out to get a job working as a waiter. I needed some sort of income if I wanted to have a bunch of kitty children.

"I don't have a name," he says sadly. Does he really not? Or does he just not trust me enough to tell me what it is?

"Ah, well," I say thinking. I shouldn't do this but I really have no other names to use..."Why don't I call you Ciel? Ciel Phantomhive."

He nods and accepts the name, without knowing who the person really is...or even if they exist.

It feels wrong to use his name like this but they look so similar. What other name should I have used? Someone, something has to fill the gap I've been left with.

Why can't it be this boy here?


	2. Chapter 2

He didn't seem to have a problem with staying with me. No problem at all. I found it strange, I thought perhaps he would leave...but then again...I found him in a dumpster, what kind of home would he have?

I only requested that he didn't open the wardrobe. That is all that I asked. He could stay with me as long as he wanted, just don't open that wardrobe. Inside it, is a painting of my Ciel. I didn't want him to open it and question why they looked so similar, because truthfully, I don't have an answer.

That isn't the only reason though, it also holds my old butler uniform. I wore it when I went out on my assassination jobs. I don't want him to know about that unless he truly has to. He was scared of me enough, I don't need him to be more scared.

He has been with me for about a week now. I've been taking care of him and I think he is opening up more to me. I can't quite say for sure yet though. Either way, I need to start going to work again. My kitty children need me.

"Will you be alright by yourself?" I say, getting dressed for work. I can feel him staring at me, I don't really mind but this is a bit intense...is there something on my back?

"Yes, I'll be fine..." he says. That doesn't reassure me the way he talks. Maybe I should bring him with me and have him stay in the break room. Would that trouble the others too much?

I don't really want to leave him here by himself...something could happen. Maybe I really should take him after all.

"Are you sure?" I say. I've probably asked him this a hundred times...but I really just don't know. He giggles at my concern and nods.

"I'm positive! You've already made me food and I have tons of cats to play with!" he says. That's true. I'm glad he isn't allergic to them. That is one plus.

Frowning with uncertainty I open the door and look back one last time. He smiles and waves at me. Should I really leave him here? Sigh, he has already told me thousands of times it will be fine. I should trust him, I want him to trust me so I need to trust him too...but why is it so difficult?

I begin walking to my job. It isn't that far away from where I live (by demon running standards). I'm not sure how I ended up working there but it is a job so it doesn't matter anyway.

I work at a small-ish family restaurant called Wagnaria. Everyone there is so...close? I'm not sure how to explain it but they all get along really well. It is a great place for a demon ex-assassin to work. One of the workers carries around a katana constantly and no one bats an eye. Perfect place. There is only one thing that bothers me about it though, one of the workers is really good at finding out information on everyone. I can't have him knowing I am a demon, or a killer, that wouldn't very well help my job.

Other than that, I would say working here is perfect. It reminds me of the three servants that Ciel used to have (because some of these people are equally as useless).

"Hello Sebastian-san!~" Souma greets me at the door. Annoying pain in the butt, he is always trying to find out things about me. Always.

"Greetings Souma-san," I respond brushing past him.

"You always come to work already in uniform. Do you wear those clothes all the time? Why were you off for a week? Did something happen?" Here we go, question after question.

"Souma-san, I would very much like to keep my personal matters private," I smile albeit annoyed.

"Sebastian, so glad you're here!" Satou rushes out of the kitchen. "Can you cover for me? I have to go, something has come up."

I really would love to refuse, but whatever has happened does seem important. Now it will take even longer for me to go home, "Yes I can."

He smiles and rushes out the door. I wonder what it is that he is in such a hurry for.

The day goes by painstakingly slow. How much longer until I can return to Ciel? There are barely any customers today....maybe I should take something home to him. Does he like sweet things still?

"Ne, Ne, did you hear?" I overhear Souma talking to Yamada. What is he up to now? "There has been a fire, I think it is close to where Sebastian-san lives! I hope his house doesn't burn down."

How does that brat even know where I live? Wait, did he say fire?! Ciel is still by himself! And we both know he has terrible luck when it comes to flames...

"Are you sure about that fire?" I ask the brat, trying to be as calm as I can be.

"Yes, see?" Souma shows me his phone. Sure enough, it seems there is one. Humans love taking videos and things, I never thought I would be grateful for that.

"I've got to go!" I say running out the door. This is very similar to Satou earlier, I wonder why he had to leave in such a rush. But that isn't important right now. I have to go to Ciel! More importantly, I have to make sure my cats are okay! Those poor babies! I'm going to rescue you! Papa Sebby is almost there!

The flames haven't reached my place yet, what a relief. It seems like the firemen won't need my help after all. I run into my terribly run down abode. I have to make sure he is okay! I just gots to (even if the fire is like three buildings away...I have to give myself some peace of mind. Don't judge me).

"Ciel?!"

"Sebastian? What are you doing home? Are you done for the day?" He says while holding a black cat in his arms. Did you really not notice all the commotion outside? How are you just playing with a cat like nothing is wrong?

Ah, well, I would do that too...

I want to hug him, is that okay? We haven't even known each other for more than a week and I was still so concerned...ach! What is wrong with me! Just because he looks like Ciel doesn't mean I should really treat him like he is! I can't just replace Ciel...

"Sebastian? Are you okay?" he walks over to me after placing the cat on the floor. "You don't look so good. Are you sick?" He tries to make himself taller by standing on his toes. What is he doing? He then grabs my bow-tie and pulls me closer to him, doing that forehead touch thing I've seen some couples do. I don't have a fever...I can't get sick, at least I think I can't.

This is a bit odd.

He frowns, realizing that I don't have a fever. He must be thinking something like 'if you aren't sick what's wrong?' I'm a stranger and you are concerned about me, just like I was about you. There is something wrong with the both of us it seems.

"I'm fine, I was just worried about you...but you seem to be fine also," I say patting his head. He isn't a cat but I feel the need to do this. I have absolutely no idea why though. There really isn't a reason...

Ciel smiles and hugs me. That is unexpected. I'm not sure what to do now. I just stopped myself from hugging him a few seconds ago and now he is hugging me. What do I do?

"I'm glad you're back." he looks up at me, smiling brighter. I can't help but smile too.


	3. Chapter 3

I wasn't about to let Ciel stay home by himself while I am at work. Never again. Absolutely not. So, if he can't stay home, he will just have to come with me. He can stay in the break room or something. I don't care.

I haven't actually come up with a good reason to tell the manager yet...I am just going to wing it when we get there.

There is one downside to this though, I have to spend money on traveling fees. I can't have Ciel finding out I'm not human, so no more demon-speed for me. It is depressing that I have to spend money on such things but there is no other way to go about this.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to go with you?" he asks me while we get on the train.

"Would you rather be by yourself?" I say in response. He shakes his head and looks at the ground, blushing again. Why is he blushing?

There are a lot of people on it today, or is this normal for a train? I wouldn't know, I barely use them. There are too many so the seats are all taken. I guess that means we have to stand. That's fine. Annoying, but fine.

Ciel is too short to reach the handle so he grabs ahold of my shirt sleeve instead. Blushing, again. Does he have an issue with heat? Or is he really just that self-conscious around me?

The train comes to an abrupt stop. Ciel loses his balance and almost falls over, so I catch him like the gentleman I am.

"Are you alright?" I ask. He doesn't say anything and just nods. "This is where we get off," I say. The doors open and the people flood in and out. This crazy crowd would separate us! I grab Ciel's hand and try to make our way through the people.

We're almost to Wagnaria. Just a little more and we'll be there.

"How long are you going to hold my hand?" he asks me. I had forgotten that I was holding it.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize..." I say beginning to let go. He refuses to let me and just holds onto my hand tighter.

"It's fine," Ciel doesn't make eye contact with me and continues to look at the ground. He is so cute, dawww, why are you doing this to me?! It is a crime for anything to be this adorable!

"Is this where you work?" Ciel asks when we finally get there.

"Yes, the people here a bit odd though, so you don't have to talk to them if you don't want to."

"Gah! When did this adorable creature get here! He is so small and cute!" the #1 weirdo of them all says. I can understand his feelings but...if you dare lay a finger on this cinnamon roll...I will end you.

Ciel hides behind me for most of the day. Takanashi continues to try and get a word out of him but nothing works. Good job Ciel! So proud of you! Don't talk to him, he is a strange one.

"Yo, Sebastian, why did you bring this guy here?" the manager asks me.

"Some things happened and he ended up in my care. I can't really leave him by himself so..."

"Ah, I see," she says and goes back to slacking off and eating parfaits. That was just as easy as I expected it to be.

It was a little difficult to go about my job with Ciel following me all over the place but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It was better than not being able to do my job at all from being worried about if he was okay or not.

"Hey, I've been thinking about this for a while now but...he isn't Japanese is he Sebastian-san? Actually, you don't look very Japanese yourself..." Souma asks. I am currently drying plates and half-tempted to throw one at him. He gets on my nerves and he doesn't even try half the time.

Ciel shakes his head 'no' and mumbles, "I'm British."

"He can speak!" Souma smiles with delight. That creepy grin, it reminds me of the Undertaker...and they don't even look anything alike.

"If you're British what are you doing in Japan?"

"I'm looking for someone," Ciel' voice doesn't get any louder, it just remains quiet and he continues to stand behind me.

"Looking for who though?" Souma, can you please stop being so nosy? It is bothersome.

"The person who killed my family!" Ciel raises his voice. It shocks Souma and I both. Ciel jumps up and sits on the counter swinging his feet back and forth smiling. "Ne, have you ever heard of the Black Butler?" suddenly he is very enthusiastic. Does he hate the murderer or love him? I can't quite tell...

"Oh! You mean the legend assassin?! Who became just as famous as Jack the Ripper?!"

Haaah? Ciel is looking for me?! When did I get such a crappy name like 'Black Butler'? So I wore a lot of black...and was a butler...okay maybe it makes sense but still....

"Yes! Yes! That's the one! They say he always dressed like a butler each time he went out to kill. He would only use pure silver knives! They added the 'black' to his nickname because every time he killed a dark aura would appear around the victim and all you could see was his crazy red eyes!"

Ciel is very enthusiastic about this. I don't remember ever killing anyone related to this guy...but then again...I didn't really care who it was that was dying either...

"So, Ciel-kun. Are you searching for revenge?" Souma asked. For once I don't mind all of the questions since I am curious too.

"Ah, well, I was mad at first since I had to grow up on the streets. But now I'm certain! I want to marry him! My family was a really terrible group! They did all sorts of bad things! Black Butler must really be an awesome guy!"

Souma and I both stared at him in shock. You do know that he was an assassin right? That doesn't make him, err, well, me, a saint.

"You're so weird!" Souma laughed. "Even if you did find him...I'm sure he is probably long dead by now...or at least super old! You wouldn't be able to marry a guy like that."

"It'll be fine! He is supposed to be a demon! So he probably doesn't even look that old anyway!"

As much as I am honored by that...I'm kind of offended too. They both just called me old. I'm not that old...when you think about it. I'm just on a different sense of time...I'm not old...right? T-T

I really don't ever want him to find out I'm the person he is looking for. That would just depress me. I mean think about that, he would only stick around because of my assassin-ness.

Ah, wait.

I'm only keeping him around because of his Ciel-ness...so why am I getting so hurt? That doesn't seem right.

Now I'm confused.

If I don't like him because he looks like Ciel...then have I really started to become attached to him for some other reason?

No, no, no, no, no, that can't be right.

"I'm not weird! I just love the Black Butler!" those words really irk me. I can't be getting jealous of myself now...can I?


	4. Chapter 4

Usually, 9.9 times out of 10, I don't sleep. Sleeping is pointless to me. I am a demon. Why should I sleep? But on the rare chance that I do happen to fall asleep...it is usually in the kitty suite.

But that chance that I do fall asleep has been increasing lately. I don't even like sleeping that much...but for some reason, since the arrival of Ciel, I have been dozing off a lot more than I should be. Am I getting too relaxed? That can't be good...

Anyway, currently, I am in that half-sleep half-awake state. I am so close to being awake and so close to being asleep. It is one of the most annoying things, after Souma. Souma takes #1 spot on my annoyance list.

Grell would be #1 but I haven't seen him since my Ciel was alive. Thank the universe for that. I really hope we never cross paths again. It would be way too much for my poor little demon self to handle.

Back to the main topic, I am almost asleep. The little kitty children of mine are all piled on top of me right now so even if I wanted to move, I couldn't. I would feel too guilty. My little children are using me as a cushion! How could I just move?! I am not heartless enough for that!

I hear the door open, Ciel must be awake. He is trying to walk really carefully around the cats, does he think I am sleeping? Probably. One of the cats meows at him and I can sense that he begins to panic. Don't worry Ciel, I will at least pretend like I am asleep if you're around. Part of my acting like a 'human' thing.

"Sebastian?" he says quietly. "Are you really sleeping? Don't you have work today?" The answer is no, I don't have work today but I can't really tell you that right now since you think I'm sleeping. When is a good time to 'wake up'? Should I open my eyes right now? I kind of think that would be too soon...

I let my breathing become a little more like snoring and open my mouth a little bit. I really should just wake up but something is telling me I shouldn't. Humans always say more when they think the other person can't hear them. Maybe Ciel will tell me something interesting.

Maybe.

Ciel silently watches as I just lay here. I would love to call that creepy but I did the same thing to the 'young master' so...perhaps it is best if I just keep my opinions to myself.

Some of my hair falls into my face, Ciel quickly removes it and places it back where it belongs. Without realizing it myself, I nuzzle into his hand. It is a good thing I am 'sleeping' or it would be really hard to explain that. Spending so much time around cats must be effecting me. Am I turning into one?

Ciel moves his hand away and makes some sort of squealing noise. Like 'kyaa' or something. I couldn't quite catch it since the noise didn't last very long.

"You're so cute sometimes Sebastian," Ciel giggles. I feel like I have just been insulted. I am not 'cute'. In no way, am I 'cute'.

I hear Ciel move but I am not sure what he is trying to do. That is when I feel something on my face. Is he kissing me? In my sleep? Wow, nice job. Taking advantage of a sleeping demon.

I taught you well.

Fine, I'll let you get away with this. There isn't much I can do about it now anyways. I kiss him back more roughly than how he initially began. Ciel doesn't think twice about reciprocating but I know that he can't handle this for very long. He has already started to lose his breath.

Ciel breaks away from me and I decide it is a good time for me to 'wake up' so I open my eyes. When I do, I must still be half-sleeping because he doesn't look like Ciel to me.

"Y-young M-master..." I mumble, without meaning to and sit up. I blink my eyes a couple of times in order to get the image away. This isn't him...this isn't the same person. This is a kid that I have found in the dumpster...

Get yourself together Sebastian!

Ciel just stares at me, confused and a little bit scared. Does he think I will get mad at him for kissing me? Well, I won't. I take my hand and rub my eyes, making sure that image is gone now.

"Good Morning," I say and smile hoping he will ignore the fact that I just said something before.

"Who is that?" he asks, for a brief moment a hurt look crosses his face.

"Who is who?" I say, trying again, to ignore what I just said.

"Who is 'Young Master'?" he asks and frowns.

"Ah, no one in particular," I say. The cats have already moved so I stand up and begin to walk out of the door to the kitty suite. "Are you hungry?" I ask, really hoping he will drop this but he doesn't.

Ciel grabs my arm and looks up at me angrily, "Who are they?"

I don't want to tell you, why can't you see that? Why are you forcing this out of me? I haven't talked about this person in such a long time, with good reason! Why should I tell you? What is the point in that?! You'll just get hurt either way!

Ah, well, if you are going to be hurt if I tell you...and you are going to be hurt if I don't tell you...

there really can't be any harm in telling you then.

Fine. Have it your way...but you can't say that I didn't warn you.

I walk out of the kitty suite and over to the wardrobe. The painting is in the back, behind my butler uniform. Ciel hasn't seen me open this hunk of wood once, so he is a little anxious.

I open the door slightly, just enough to get my arm inside and pull the painting out, but not enough so that he can see what is in there.

"This," I say closing the wardrobe and taking off the old sheet that was on it, protecting it from dust. I show it to him, one of my most prized possessions, "This is my Young Master."

The painting is clearly aged but the face is still so perfect. Ciel Phantomhive, the blue hair and the discolored eyes. One purple, clearly showing my mark and the other blue. The resemblance is clear and this boy notices it.

"His name was Ciel Phantomhive," I say. "He died a long time ago..."

"I look just like him," I can see tears well up in his eyes. He doesn't ask about the purple eye. If he did I wouldn't know what to tell him. Perhaps he can't see the demonic symbol...

"I-is this why?" tears come out in a steady stream now. He doesn't want to ask the question and I don't want to answer it. "Is this why you took me in? You even gave me the same name!"

I can't say anything to that, there isn't much for me to say. It is the truth. I did take him in because he reminded me of the other.

But even if they do look almost identical, they are not the same.

"It is, isn't it?!" he almost yells.

Ciel picks up some shoes and runs out. I want to go after him but I can't find myself doing it. There isn't anything I can say to comfort him.

We were just strangers.

This wouldn't have lasted long...

Demons aren't allowed such fortune...things like second chances don't come to us.


	5. Chapter 5

It was stupid of me, to assume such a thing. I know that now, of course I do.

That is why I ran away.

I thought for sure that Sebastian was growing fond of me. I thought that was the case. I always knew that there was something weird about him, about the way he looked through me. It was like he didn't see me at all.

Everything makes sense now.

I was because he really wasn't seeing me. He was seeing someone else entirely.

He was seeing him.

I should never have come to Japan. What was I thinking? I had a one way ticket to get here, and it only got me into a bigger mess than what I wanted.

I'm still not close at all to finding the Black Butler! I shouldn't have strayed from my goal! Look where it got me! I fell in love with a guy I only knew for a short period of time! He wasn't the one I was looking for!

But he is the one that I want now...

I couldn't tell you where I was going. I don't know myself. I am just wandering the streets of Japan, maybe I'll get somewhere, meet another handsome stranger. Sebastian found me in a dumpster...should I try having another person find me there too?

Oh, what is the point anyway?

Eh, wait, where am I exactly?

I look around and notice that I am in a dark alleyway. There are lots of guy surrounding me. I think they have said something but I don't know what it is they are trying to tell me.

I really should pay more attention to my surroundings...this is bad. The last time this happened I was mistaken for a girl and almost...ah well I don't really want to talk about that. Let's just say it wasn't a good and happy memory.

"Oi, oi, look at this little guy," one of them says. I'm paying attention now, even though I don't know what they are after...I can sense this isn't going to end well for me. I am way too weak to stay on the streets by myself. You would think after all of these years I would be better on my own...but I'm not. I'm not strong at all on my own or at all really.

"Are you sure it's a guy though? With that face this child could very well be a girl," another one said taking a few steps closer to me. How many of them are there? Five? I'm too lost to count right but it seems like a lot. Maybe I should make a run for it.

Yes?

Yes.

"You don't believe me? How rude, why don't we just check for ourselves then," the other guy says licking his lips. I bet you think you look cool but actually you look like a dead goat on the side of the road trying to eat a potato. Yes, yes, I know, that was the best insult you have ever heard. I've got better, sometimes, on a good day.

His buddy grabs my shoulders and pushes me up against the wall. It hurts, his nails are digging into my skin. I might actually bleed from this, you sicko. Is there anyone else around? I look at the street, it is late at night, of course no one is here! I'm really by myself! Running really is my only option...that's not good.

"Don't have all the fun by yourself!" one of the guys in the back is talking now. He hasn't spoken yet and his voice is the creepiest of them all. The one who is currently holding onto me pushes my body to the ground. It hurts. Terribly. I can't move.

This is not going to to be pleasant.

I want to get up, I want to run away, but my body hurts too much and my will to escape is too little. I have nowhere to run, no place to hide. These guys can probably run faster than I can anyway. I'm not very strong, I can't fight them off.

This is pointless.

They all crowd around me, each starting on one end of my body, trying to strip me I guess. I've stopped paying attention, I try to think of something else, something better.

It almost works, until one of them reaches into my pants. I'm brought back to the cruel reality and I start shedding tears. There has to be someone around! Someone has to be able to help me! Why isn't anyone here?

"So you were a boy!" he says, proud of himself for correctly guessing, unlike the other one.

I want to close my eyes and pretend this isn't happening but right when I am about to something appears behind him. Someone? Shadows surround the new stranger, all you can see is their glowing red eyes and immense hatred for this person. The rest of them are too terrified to move, so the one that is currently touching me can't be warned, can't even attempt to run away.

"What do you think you're touching?" the new person states. Their voice is enough to send chills down my spine. If it scares me, it will most definitely scare these people as well.

But there is something familiar about this voice, have I heard it before?

Before I can ponder this question any longer the shadow-man grabs this pervert's head and crushes it with just his hand. The others want to scream, I can tell, but they can't. No noise will come out, I can't say anything either.

Realization hits them like a storm. They scramble to their feet and try to run away, like I wanted to do. They don't get very far. The shadows attack them, this can't be real. Is this a dream? Some sort of weird dream? Will I wake up? Will it turn out to be all fake? I want to fall asleep, I want to wake up and find myself next to Sebastian.

Can such a thing happen?

That would be nice.

I don't know what the shadows did to the men, but it couldn't have been good. I close my eyes to the sound of their screams. It is a very weird thing to lose consciousness to.

The red-eyed-shadow-guy picks me up and says something. I can't quite catch it completely...but I think it went something like...

"I knew I should have brought my silver knives."


	6. Chapter 6

I open my eyes to see Sebastian smiling down on me. It is an interesting situation, I might say, that he would be there. Didn't I run away? Did this all happen to be a bad dream? I certainly wish it was like that...it would be much better than what I had to go through.

But sadly I know it wasn't.

Last night's memories flood my mind. It was horrific. To think that they would do such a thing to me! I am not even all that attractive. I shouldn't have had this happen. It shouldn't have happened. I can still feel their hands on me. I can still feel the cold ground behind me. It hurts. It hurts so much.

I sit up and hug myself. It is the only way to keep the tears back. To muffle my screams. This is the only way I know how to keep calm.

Things like this have happened before sometimes. Since I was living on the street I thought that I would have gotten used to it. But of course, who gets used to that? Nothing as bad as that has ever happened to me. I shouldn't have tried to escape. I shouldn't have gotten mad.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Why would Sebastien want me to stay anyway?

I have only caused him trouble. So what if he thinks of me like the other Ciel? So what? Does it really matter? Does it? In the grand scheme of things does it really effect what happens next?

But it hurts...to think that I have fallen for someone that will never like me for who I am.

That hurts more than any physical pain that could have befallen me. I'm not sure I can hold back those tears. I'm not sure that I can stop those emotions.

I shouldn't have come here.

I shouldn't have come to Japan.

I shouldn't have met Sebastian.

He shouldn't have met me.

We shouldn't be together.

That is simply how things were meant to be.

I hug myself tighter and rock back and forth. If I bite my lip will the rest of the pain go away? If I dig my nails into my skin, will at least some of this terrible feeling be replaced?

I feel useless, unloved, unwanted, not needed, what is the point of me?

It is while I am thinking all of these things that I feel two arms wrap around me and bring me closer. It is comforting. It is gentle. It was not what I was expecting. I allow them to hold me close, to say soothing words. Even if my ears are not hearing what they say, I still find them to be better than silence.

But my breaking point is here. I can no longer hold back the tears that were threatening to escape. I can't do that any more. It isn't worth it. I just wish to be swallowed up by these arms. Is it okay to cry? Is it okay to let these feelings out? Is that alright? Is it really okay? Will he get mad at me? Will I no longer be like his 'young master' if I do that?

What does it matter.

I want to cry.

So I do.

I grab onto Sebastian's shirt and force my head against his chest, in hopes that it might muffle my sobs. I don't think it does much, except for suffocate me...but it is all okay now. Dying doesn't seem so bad anyways.

He runs his hand through my hair and continues to say things that I can't listen to. It isn't that I don't want to hear them, it is just that my ears don't seem like they want to work. I can't help but block out everything. It is an eerie silence that I have forced myself to. It is a strange thing to not even be able to hear myself sob.

Will it always be like this? Will I never be able to hear again? If I can't hear then I can't speak either...what is this going to be like now? I don't think I'll have a future, at least not a good one.

It is strange, I can remember all of last night, except the very end. How did I get back to Sebastian? Why do I not even remember him saving me? Why do I not remember any of that? I feel like I am missing out on something important...something really key...something so obvious that it is hurting me because I can't think of it.

Just what did I miss?

Well it isn't any use trying to remember.

Perhaps it is better that I forgot in the first place. It is better that I don't know, there must be a reason...

If only I could forget what had happened to me too.

If I could forget that Sebastian saw someone else in me...would I be able to go back to loving him blindly? Happily? Idiotically? One can only hope. But it is too late for that now. For it has already happened.

"I feel so dirty," I mutter. I can barely speak, let alone talk much louder than a whisper. What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why am I so weak?

"Then, would you like to take a bath?" he says. I can hear him now. Loud and clear. My hearing is starting to go back to normal, even though I feel so distant. I look up at him incredibly confused. How is a bath going to make me feel better? This isn't the kind of dirt that you can just wash away...I can't just wash away the gross feeling of hands all over me.

Can I?

I would like to think that I can...but is that really possible?

"Would you like me to replace that single bad memory, with a much more pleasurable experience?" he says into my ear. Sebastian's voice is low and seductive. I haven't heard him talk like that before. I blush, without realizing it, my cheeks have already turned pink.

Is it really okay for me to accept? Would that be such a bad thing?

The thought of me taking a bath with him doesn't seem like an idea I should accept. I will probably die from blood loss due to the massive bloody nose I'll get seeing him naked.

I couldn't help but stare as he got dressed for work...but I will die a terrible death if I see him fully naked.

But still...

I would rather die happy than to miss this chance.

I wrap my arms around his neck and smile, "I would love to accept such an offer, Sebastian."


	7. Chapter 7

He would love to accept, that was the answer that came from Ciel's mouth, the replacement? No, he is just as worthy as the original. Sebastian picked up the fragile boy, bringing him into the bathtub, the very same one that hadn't been used in quite some time. The demon undressed the boy, who had forgotten his secret. This innocent-child, did not remember that it was he, who had saved him. That was okay, perhaps it would be better if he just forgot. At least that way, Sebastian would know, that it was he, and not the Black Butler, in which Ciel loved (if he even did love him). Of course, it was foolish to think such things, but Sebastian was just the jealous type.

Sebastian watched, as this lovely boy's face blushed a bright red. Ciel looked to the side, avoiding eye contact with the demon. This Ciel, always blushed. Was it because of him? Because Sebastian made him so self-conscious? Was that the reason? What other reason was there? He hadn't originally thought this to be the case, but Sebastian hoped it to be true now, for now, the demon cared for him. He knew, as he watched those filthy wretches touch Ciel, his Ciel, that he cared for this boy, the same as he had cared for his 'Young Master.' There was no denying it any longer. He had grown attached, just like he had the first time, all those years ago.

Sebastian moved Ciel out of the way, for a brief moment, just so he could turn on the faucet. He let the water fall over his hand, till it was the perfect temperature. He remembered how he used to draw baths for the other Ciel. Although, this one would be a much better experience, for they would take it together, something the other Ciel would have never allowed.

The demon gestured, for Ciel to get in, to wait while he undressed himself. The blue-haired boy shook his head, and spoke, "it seems unfair, that you can undress me, but I cannot undress you," he crossed his arms and looked up at Sebastian. The demon smiled, almost wishing to laugh, they were so different, but somehow, there was still a slight resemblance between the two Ciels. He nodded, and was about to kneel on the ground, however, Ciel climbed up on the edge of the bath. If he fell, he trusted that Sebastian would catch him, so he just took the chance, whilst he began to undress the demon.

It was strange, to look into those eyes at the same height. It was ever so odd. It made the boy feel much more exposed, much more in danger, but it also thrilled him, to finally be tall enough. Ciel outstretched his hands, unbuttoning buttons, removing the clothing in a gentle fashion. His hands glided over the smooth skin of the man before him, he was muscular, much more muscular from the front than the back. Ciel tried, very hard, not to blush or to show how embarrassing this really was. He tried, but he knew, that Sebastian saw through him. He should not fear his own emotions any longer. He should embrace them, Ciel knew this, but his heart still beat quickly, and his breath still hitched. 

Ciel got off of the bath's ledge, he stopped the water, before beginning his plot. You see, the boy had decided, to take full advantage of this opportunity. He no longer cared, what Sebastian would do, if the demon was going to be angry with him or not. Ciel felt, that chances like these came once in a lifetime, so he would have to make it known, just how it was that he felt. 

The boy knelt down, in front of Sebastian, he leaned forward, to undue the pant's button, and unzip the zipper, all with his mouth. He raised his hands, to slide Sebastian's pants, and remaining undergarment down to the floor, completing his mission to strip the male. The size, did not startle him, for he expected it to be like this. Ciel then stood up, and climbed into the tub, pretending as if nothing had taken place, that he had not been so bold. Even though the idea had played out in his mind, perfectly, doing it was another story entirely. 

Sebastian suppressed his urge to react to that encounter. He got in the tub as well, across from Ciel, they both looked at each other, waiting for the other to make some sort of comment. When none came, Sebastian remembered, why he had offered to take this bath to begin with, he had offered this to cleanse the boy. To clean him of the smell, of those humans who did not deserve to touch Ciel in such a way. 

He moved, without first asking for consent, he was fully prepared to stop, if the boy requested. However, Sebastian would not speak, for fear he might be rejected outright in the beginning. Ciel watched, as the demon pulled his arm, bringing him closer. He felt as Sebastian cleansed him with soap, trailing his hands along his body, cleaning him. He cursed himself, for finding it arousing, but it was certainly meant to be. Small noises escaped him, without permission, and Ciel noticed, in his peripheral vision, a glow in Sebastian's eyes, one that he remembered. Ciel wished to laugh at himself, of course, how could he have been so stupid? Sebastian and the Black Butler were one and the same. Not knowing, how exactly, to take in such information, Ciel just smiled. To think, that he would manage to fall in-love, with the same person he was searching for. Coincidence? The world rarely makes such mistakes.

Sebastian, finished in his work, decided it would be best to stop here, should he do something that he regret, so the demon backed away. He leaned against his side of the tub, wondering how exactly to proceed. Ciel, a bit distressed at the sudden distance, closed it himself. The blue-haired boy scooted towards Sebastian. He sat on him, straddled him, and wrapped his arms around the demon's neck. He smiled, innocently, but his eyes gave away his true motives. 

'I love you' he mouthed, not wanting to break the blissful silence they'd experienced thus far. Before hearing the demon's response, he kissed him. Time was irrelevant, to how long or short the kiss lasted. It was filled with importance, love, a passion the two had never allowed to pass between them before, for fear of what the other might feel. Ciel knew, through the kiss, that he was in fact, wanted, loved, cherished. He no longer felt dirty, like trash, like there was no meaning to his existence. He loved Sebastian and it was clear that Sebastian loved him. Whether or not it was he, or the previous 'Young Master' no longer mattered. The fact was, that Sebastian cared for him, when no one else would.

And eventually, over time, it would be him, Ciel promised himself, that he would eliminate all traces of the other one. Sebastian would be his, he would be Sebastian's. Ciel, broke away from the kiss and looked into the demon's eyes.

"May I stay?" he asked, feeling that he must request to live with Sebastian, even though he already knew the answer.

"My dear," Sebastian answered, cupping the boy's face with his hands, "I should think you would. I'm not sure I would be able to survive a night without you here, beside me."

Ciel smiled. 

He wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
